Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Reconstruction Part 2 and Revisiting the Ribbon

Two days ago, I went under the knife for part 2 of my breast reconstruction. This surgery entailed removing the tissue expanders and replacing them with silicone implants. The pain and recovery is much easier this time. There is none of the pressure of stretching the muscles and tissue, and I'm already so relieved to be gone from those coconut-like expanders. I have drains again, but hopefully, they will only be needed about a week this time. I'm so glad that this step in my treatment is almost behind me.

In the meantime, I need to swallow my pride and concede something. Last week, I had the opportunity to meet one of my 9-year old's teachers, with whom she has grown quite close. I had heard about her and that she is also a breast cancer survivor. Of course, she was just lovely. I noticed that she had a pink ribbon on her ID badge. Then she went on to tell me how she and K had bonded. She told me that one day, she found K sitting in her chair clearly distraught. She spent some time trying to guess what the problem could be. 
  Was somebody being mean to her? No. 
  Was somebody teasing her? No. 
  Was it a problem at school? No.
  Was it a problem at home? A nod, yes. 
  [Bracing herself] What is it? And at that K reached out and touched her ribbon. Mrs. D. hugged her and asked her who. She reassured her as much as she could, not fully knowing the situation.

So, without K having to say anything, the ribbon allowed her to express her fear and sadness to a safe and understanding outside party. Since then, K and Mrs. D. have forged a wonderful relationship. K has someone who understands what's happening and gives her kindness and support without her having to say or ask for anything. 

And it's all because of that damned pink ribbon. I still don't like the "beautification," the sexualizing, or the marketing that seems to come along with it. But I love that it gave an entree for K to talk about it, and I think it also offers her--and many others--hope in that there are people who survive this disease to tell about it and offer perspective and comfort to others. For that, I'm very grateful. Perhaps I'm even more grateful to the lovely woman wearing that ribbon who not only devotes herself to helping children learn but who is helping my kiddo through a very scary time in her life.